Caring in America
With Podcast Host: Richard Wexler
Episode 115
One of the most common things I hear from families is, “We’ll talk about senior care someday.”
The problem is, someday usually shows up as a crisis.
In a recent special episode of Caring in America, I was joined by Margaret Cabell, Chief Community Relations Officer at A Place for Mom, to talk about an article we collaborated on called “The Cost of Waiting to Talk About Senior Care.” What followed was an honest, eye-opening conversation about why families delay these discussions—and the very real emotional, financial, and personal costs of waiting too long.
Why Families Wait
(and Why They Regret It)
A Place for Mom has helped over 500,000 families since 2024, and the data is striking:
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54% of families wish they had started planning sooner
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No family ever says, “We started too early.”
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9 out of 10 families reach out while already in crisis
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Nearly 80% say they were not prepared to have the conversation
Families tend to wait for a triggering event—a fall, illness, hospitalization—before acting. By then, time is limited, emotions are high, and options are fewer.
As Margaret put it, waiting doesn’t just reduce choices—it removes the emotional space needed to make thoughtful decisions.
The Illusion of Time
Another misconception is how much time families believe they have.
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77% of caregivers assume they’ll have several months to a year to find care
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In reality, 70% of families find care within 60 days of starting their search
Once families understand the level of care needed and see the value of appropriate support, decisions move fast—often faster than anyone expected.
Even the Experts Struggle
One of the most powerful moments in our conversation came when Margaret shared her own story. Despite being a professional who helps thousands of families navigate senior care, she hadn’t had these conversations with her own mother.
After a recent fall, she and her sister realized they thought they knew what their mom wanted—but they weren’t prepared. It was a reminder that this is hard for everyone, even those of us in the industry.
Talking about aging, finances, and care preferences is uncomfortable. But avoiding it doesn’t make it easier—it just delays the difficulty.
Unrealistic Expectations About Care
Many families underestimate what caregiving really involves.
I know this firsthand. Years ago, one of our parents moved in with us. On paper, it seemed manageable—a bedroom, a bathroom, family nearby. But within days, it became clear that this was 24/7 care, layered on top of jobs, kids, and other aging parents.
Care is bigger, more complex, and more demanding than most people expect.
And the industry itself doesn’t help. Unlike retirement planning or college savings, senior care is fragmented and confusing:
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Home care
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Assisted living
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Skilled nursing
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Memory care
Each comes with different services, rules, and costs. Without a shared framework, families feel overwhelmed before the conversation even starts.
The Financial Reality No One Wants to Talk About
Let’s be honest—care costs money.
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Average assisted living: $5,000+ per month
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Memory care: $6,000+ per month
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In-home care: often $40–$50+ per hour
Only 18% of families feel they truly understand the cost of senior living, and nearly a third say it’s much higher than expected. Many assume Medicare or Medicaid will cover it, which usually isn’t the case unless specific qualifications are met.
Avoiding the financial conversation doesn’t protect families—it leaves them unprepared.
A Better Way: 7 Steps to Planning Ahead
The article outlines seven practical steps that help families move from crisis to control:
1. Set goals and learn about care options
This isn’t a legal or binding conversation—it’s about understanding preferences.
2. Form a care team
Identify who will be involved—family, friends, neighbors, and professionals.
3. Understand care costs
Explore in-home care, community living, and family-provided care early.
4. Explore payment options
Long-term care insurance, VA Aid & Attendance, and other resources matter.
5. Create a care budget
Today, the budget is the budget. Planning realistically is empowering.
6. Develop a legal plan
Powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and estate plans provide clarity and security.
7. Revisit the plan regularly
A care plan should be a living document that evolves as life changes.
At APlan2Age, we provide tools families can use to document these conversations, download a care plan, and update it as circumstances change.
Planning Is a Gift
Planning ahead isn’t just about control—it’s about care.
As Margaret shared so beautifully, having these conversations is a gift to your children and loved ones. It allows them to spend time supporting and loving you, instead of scrambling through paperwork and second-guessing decisions during a crisis.
Most of us want to be in control of our lives. Putting a plan in place helps ensure that when care is needed, your wishes—not panic—guide the decisions.
Final Thought
Have the conversation.
Have it early.
Have it honestly.
Whether you’re an adult child talking up to a parent, or a parent talking down to your children, these discussions make life easier, relationships stronger, and outcomes better.
Until we talk again—have yourself an awesome day.
With Special Guest: Margaret Cabell
Chief Community Relations Officer / Head of Sales
A Place for Mom
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Our country is entering a new chapter, one we have never seen before… over 100 million people are 50 years of age or older, and the need for care is going to be more and more prevalent. We are dreaming of a nation where aging and care are understood and become part of our normal conversations with family.
To make this a reality, we need your help!