Caring in America
With Podcast Host: Richard Wexler
Episode 106
Gen X as Caregivers: A Conversation with Steve Mullen
By Richard Wexler, Caring in America Podcast
Twenty years ago, I never imagined I’d spend 14 years caring for all four of our parents — while raising two small kids, working full time, and learning as I went. That experience eventually led to this podcast and to the creation of A Plan to Age, our nonprofit foundation helping families prepare before a crisis hits.
In this episode, I had the pleasure of speaking with Steve Mullen, co-host (along with his wife Jennifer) of Caregiving Gen X Style. Their story will sound familiar to a lot of you — juggling work, children, and aging parents, all while trying to make sense of a system that wasn’t built to handle what so many Americans now face.
When Caregiving Happens All at Once
For Steve and Jennifer, caregiving hit like a tidal wave.
In one summer, his mother-in-law needed major surgery, followed by his own mother’s serious back surgery that left her in a wheelchair. “It all just kind of happened over three or four months,” Steve told me. Out of that stressful season — and a candid afternoon at a sports bar — came the idea for their podcast, Caregiving Gen X Style.
Now three years in, their show speaks directly to Generation X caregivers — those roughly ages 45 to 60 — who are caring for parents while still raising kids or working full-time. “We wanted people to know they’re not alone,” Steve said. “We were lucky to have each other, but not everyone has that.”
Gen X vs. Boomer Caregivers
We talked about how caregiving looks different across generations.
Boomers grew up with stay-at-home moms and larger family networks. Gen X, on the other hand, was the first generation shaped by widespread divorce and dual-income households. “We were the latchkey kids,” Steve said. “We learned to fend for ourselves.”
That independence, he explained, has shaped how some Gen Xers approach caring for their parents. “There are Gen Xers who think, ‘My parents weren’t around much for me — why should I take care of them?’” It’s a stark difference from many boomer families, where siblings often rallied together to support mom and dad.
The Sandwich Generation in the Workplace
Gen X caregivers are often in their prime earning years — building careers while managing care for aging parents and, in many cases, still supporting kids. Steve shared how this has affected his own work:
“If you’re the type of caregiver who has to be present for your care recipient several times a week, it becomes exceedingly difficult to have a career and advance in your career.”
While his wife has help from her brother, many people don’t. Employers, large and small, need to understand that caregiving isn’t a side issue — it’s a reality for nearly every worker at some point. Flexibility, support, and understanding aren’t luxuries anymore; they’re necessities.
The Emotional Toll of Caregiving
Steve told a touching story about missing his teenage son while caring for his mom in the hospital. “Sometimes you get so wrapped up in this caregiving stuff, you forget there are people back home who miss you,” he said.
For many caregivers — especially those with young children — the constant pull between generations is exhausting. “We had kids later,” Steve explained. “So when your parents need you more, your kids are still in middle school. You’re pulled in every direction.”
The Cost of Care: ‘It’s Utterly Insane’
We also talked about the financial strain. Steve’s mother is fortunate — her late husband planned well, and her advisor has kept her on track. But his mother-in-law? She lives “independent-ish,” with heavy help from family. Assisted living isn’t affordable, and Medicaid options are limited.
The numbers tell the story:
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Assisted living: $5,000/month on average (before extra care)
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In-home care: Around $40/hour — often $50/hour in major cities
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24-hour care: Over $28,000 a month
As Steve put it, “The healthcare system for the elderly in this country is just not tenable. It ends up bankrupting so many people just trying to keep their parents comfortable.”
Looking Ahead: The Need to Plan
When I asked Steve about the future, his answer echoed what I tell every audience:
“People need to plan for these things. Even if your parents seem fine now, it’s coming for you. Think about what you’d do if and how you’ll handle it when.”
He’s right. Most people don’t want to talk about caregiving until it’s already here — but by then, the options are limited. I remind families every day: you’ll plan vacations, weddings, college funds — why not plan for care?
Final Thoughts
Our conversation closed with gratitude — and a reminder. Whether you’re 45 or 75, caregiving is not a remote possibility; it’s almost a certainty.
Start asking questions now:
Where will your parents live if their health declines? How will you pay for care? What support will you need?
Because when that “if” becomes “when,” a plan makes all the difference.
🎧 Listen to the full episode: “A Conversation with Steve Mullen: Gen X as Caregivers” — available on all major podcast platforms.
🔗 Search Caregiving Gen X Style to follow Steve and Jennifer’s show.
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Our country is entering a new chapter, one we have never seen before… over 100 million people are 50 years of age or older, and the need for care is going to be more and more prevalent. We are dreaming of a nation where aging and care are understood and become part of our normal conversations with family.
To make this a reality, we need your help!